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Transforming the Repression of Divine Feminine
Many who are awake to the current global situation are simultaneously afraid of and excited about the potential of the transformation that is inevitably coming. Our culture as a whole is beginning to look beyond the current global catastrophe, toward a newly harmonized global village. But we’ve been in denial for so long about so many pervasive problems, that many feel we are doomed for Armageddon, World War 3, complete economic collapse, or the end of time as touted by (mis)interpretations of the Mayan calendric system. Although one, or perhaps all, of these events may come to pass, what they all share in common is their externalization. But for the full, qualitative transformation to take place, it must occur within each of us individually. The measure of this transformation will be seen in how each of us responds to the huge events that take us from the comfortably known to the ineffable unknown.
Recently, I’ve been measuring my own responses to huge events in my life. The publication of ‘Can Sex Work Be Shamanic?’ changed my personal life in profound and dramatic ways that I could never have imagined. It was really an innocent endeavor; I never once considered the transformation that would follow in the wake of publishing the essay. I simply felt driven to express something true for me, and I was excited to publish something that I felt might contribute to the evolution of consciousness on planet earth, which is ultimately the only thing I care about.
The essence of my essay invites a deeper, unspoken question: ‘Can Sex Be Shamanic?’ There are latent potentials held within every one of us in the field of our sexuality, though they often remain dormant. These potentials include the ability for sex to be an experience of union, an ecstatic full body vibration of love, connecting deeply psychically, as well as physically, with our partner, meditating simultaneously on the profound physical ecstasy as well as the energy, staying present, staying connected in the heart space, staying clear and in the flow of juicy yummy bliss. Beyond that remains the potential for sexuality to arouse the kundalini and shift consciousness, thus awakening the visionary multidimensional third eye activation. And beyond that lies the potential to deeply experience the feeling of transpersonal sex; where we’re not making love with the personality of our partner, but with divine source; ‘God’ or ‘Goddess’, as within the heightened sexual state we are able to begin channeling our divine energies.
In essence, I believe sex can be a transcendental, holy union.
And indeed, I have experienced such potentials directly. Those who know from their own experience the massive floods of energy moving through the body, and the subsequent transformation of consciousness from ‘mundane’ to ‘awakened ecstatic’ do not doubt the opportunity that exists, despite the fact that most people remain unaware and unavailable for this level of freedom and bliss.
After the publication of my article, massive shifts occurred in my life. First came a lot of attention, more attention than I knew how to deal with. More emails and requests for my presence than I knew how to handle, so I caved in, dropped out and focused on my personal life. Not long after publishing the essay, a documentary filmmaker inquired about working with me and the topics I am discussing. But the ultimate bomb that got dropped in my life happened two months after my essay was published; my landlord handed me a notice of eviction. He’d discovered my work, my websites, my essay. He handed me an envelope filled with my writings and told me that I was “flying above the radar” and not being discreet enough. So, I was given three weeks to move out of my cozy nest; the home that I’d worked so hard to create, the massage temple space that I’d worked so hard to cultivate. It was heartbreaking. I’d only lived there for 8 months after 9 months living out of a backpack and traveling around Guatemala, Mexico & California, and all I wanted was ‘home’ that entire time. The intensity of sadness crushed me completely, and I grieved for days. But before the grief set in, my immediate response to seeing the eviction notice was a total state of calm, knowing completely that this was divine guidance and the spirits of the universe were communicating with me through this. They were instigating more transformation. It felt like it made perfect sense.
The timing of the eviction was ironic, as the two months prior were among the happiest months of my life. This had nothing to do with the essay, but rather the deepening of my ability to join my spirit and my body in a way that brought me the most amount of happiness. For the first time in my whole life I felt I was coming home. Not home in a place, nor in regard to materialist acquisitions of things that created a ‘home’I was coming home into my self. I felt more present, more awake, more clear, more relaxed, more authentic, more fully plugged into my body. I did not feel disassociated from my body or my sexuality; in fact, I felt like my whole lifetime was leading up to this time of finally collecting all parts of my being and bringing them fully into the temple of my body. I felt whole.
Some amazing puzzle pieces aligned for this to happen. Beginning a daily smoothie regimen that transformed my digestive system and cleared me of all stagnancy and bloating. Once my digestive system cleared out, I released the energetic blockages I held in my lower belly (my second chakra). I received bodywork from a bodywork genius who tore me apart and helped me realize that I have hips. And most importantly I was cultivating a relationship with a gifted computer wizard, a genius for making phat psychedelic electronic dance beats. First we began co-creating music together, and then we began co-creating sexual energy together.
Becoming sexually activated with my musical compadré re-awakened me to the power of sexual energy. In the heightened sexual energy state, when I am ramped up in ecstatic states of physical bliss, when my yoni is an enormous orb of hot heat glowing from my root sending pulsations of bliss through my whole body, when I am that present and that free to be insanely joyful, I become my full self. All parts of my being are collected and brought into my body. I can feel an enormous shift within my subtle energy body, and it feels like I become a goddess. I feel activated, alive, liberated, blissed out, and powerful. When every single cell is infused with high states of pleasure and the body is deeply relaxed, the body does not hold onto any more tension and neither does the mind. When the body is open, the spirit walks in.
After much meditation upon Tantric wisdom, I realized that the intention or goal of Tantra is to create the merging of dualitiesthe union of heaven and earth, of masculine and feminine, of body and spiritthus emerging into a state of wholeness. The Tantric path is about the interweaving of our energies with the fabric of the whole, the available chi of the universe. This is a deep path that requires intense dedication to mastering awareness of energy on all levels, to become energetically aware of the movement of energy in the body.
Many spiritual philosophies reference ‘The Higher Self’as if we are normally lower selves, disconnected from our potential, enlightened selves. I think a more accurate description would be to acknowledge that our psyches are split, between our inner masculine and feminine, between our conscious surface level awareness and our ignored unconscious denial dream-self, and between our divine self and our ‘shadow’ ego self. To merge and marry these aspects of our selves is to create wholeness. That is the goal because that is how we will finally experience complete peace, clarity, joy and freedom.
I have been praying for a year, sending my intention out to the universe, to fully embody my spirit in my body, and to see this divine self as my true self. My intention is to cease identification with the unconscious confusion and chaos self, and instead to identify with my conscious fully aware authentic self. Because I want to see Heaven emerge on Earth, I feel I must anchor my heaven in my earth body. And clearly in no time in my life did this occur more profoundly than when I stepped fully into my sexual energy and meditated in deeply blessed-out energy.
Now, imagine what the world would feel like if there were millions of women who were anchors of ecstatic bliss energy. Imagine if there were millions of women who were eschewing convention and walking the path towards their authentic nature, releasing social conformity norms in favor of following their heart bliss. Imagine if the world was filled with juicy mamas who love to be loved, and love to get loved on. Imagine if millions of women were fully in their bodies, fully activated in their sensuality, fully released into their creative liberation. What kind of world would that be? We would be living in a world where people would rather make love than cut down trees or enslave other people. We would be living in a world where everybody was met and loved, cared for and nurtured. We would be living in a world where the priorities would be about taking care of each other, because to do that is to care for the whole, and we as individuals are a part of that whole.
But we don’t live in that kind of world. I could list the environmental degradation, the wars and genocide we tolerate in other people’s homelands, the widespread deaths of bees and other species, the corruption at the highest levels of our society. We have been living in a world that has for thousands of years suppressed the feminine. In past centuries, our culture punished and killed all the witches, all the holders of esoteric magic, the wise women who knew the plant secrets. Our culture ordered people to have sex only within the confines of marriage. Our culture has never told women that they are beautiful for their authentic being; instead, our culture put corsets and bustles on women and disfigured their spines so they couldn’t relax into their bodies. And a woman needs to have a good flowing, undulating spine in order to have sexual power. More recently, women must deal with the pressure of new cultural “norms,” such as rhinoplasty and botox, high heels and makeup. Other cultures have maimed and bound the feet of women to look like lotuses, and have dismembered the erogenous jewel of a woman’s sexual bodythe clitoris. Christianity and Islam, and other religions as well, have long suppressed women and our sexuality. These measures have effectively prevented women from knowing their true power and from standing in their bodies as radiant, ecstatic, blissful beings of joy.
I am not angry and vindictive about four thousand years of the patriarchy. But I am saying that, in our society today, we needn’t do it anymore. There are many women who are waking up to their authenticity, to their creative potential, and to their divine liberated selves. I know countless artists and witchy wise women who are creatrixes within this matrix. The most beautiful women I know are those who delve deep into their creativity, pursuing their art formstheir paintings, their poetry, their songs, their handmade clothing. These women journey and dance ecstatically, and honor their bodies. They do plant & sweat ceremonies, and go on healing retreats. These women nurture themselves, educate themselves about how to best take care of their health with healthy food and plant-based medicines. These women love each other and support their sisters, encouraging each other to grow and become more expansive and creative. This new wave of women is the embodied resurgence of the Divine Feminine on Planet Earth.
To fully realize the transformation that is at hand, we must take the power back into ourselves. If we want to live in a world that is whole and healthy, we must decide to become whole ourselves because we are each facets of the whole, and when we are a weak link in the circle of the whole, then we aren’t doing our part to hold together the integrity of the whole. If we want to live in a world of balance, we need to re-embody the Divine Feminine.
When divine powerful goddess women reach critical mass on Planet Earth, you know that big shift is going to happen because it will make more women want to step into their juicy, ecstatic, erotic, powerful, creative selves. It becomes magnetic.
And to all you women who don’t know how to get from point A to point Z but the journey looks appealing and the end result more appealing, all I can say is, be receptive to change. Become an agent of transformation, and do not hold onto what is not serving you. With my story of being evicted, the huge change out of my comfortable cozy nest offered me six weeks of traveling and spiritual pilgrimage, and after my journey I moved into a home more beautiful & divinely magical than my old one. Often the doors of transformation take the form of something that seems at first horrible and heartbreaking, but when we surrender to the magic of what is, we make ourselves available for potent possibilities of miraculous meetings.
Because the suppression of sexuality is so deeply ingrained in our collective consciousness, we live in a culture that is absolutely afraid of sexual liberation. The terrible irony is that this repression causes it to pop up in the ways of prostitution, strip clubs and online porn, because the men are hungry and need to be fed. Though our culture criminalizes whores, denies them recognition and visibility, it secretly tolerates hoards of them. Society would go haywire if they weren’t available, yet brands them as shameful pariahs and parasites. It is a profoundly hypocritical system.
But if women weren’t suppressed in their bodies and their psyches, and we were free to be powerful pleasure beings, if sexuality wasn’t so deeply repressed and the life force love energy within each one of us so deeply malnourished, we wouldn’t have any of this collective shame about owning our right to freely enjoy joy. We would step into ourselves and we would step into each other with gratitude for the gifts that each one of us is to each other. We would step into our bodies with gratitude for our pleasure receptors, we would honor the other when we nurture ourselves. And ultimately, we would co-create peace on Planet Earth, because the priorities would be shifted away from War and Corruption and Media Lies and Economic Disparity to Nurturing, Feeding and Loving Each Other, Supporting Each of our Highest Potentials, and Contributing to the whole by nurturing ourselves.
Wahkeena can be reached by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Site updated Fall 09