Fall '02 Issue 23
Psychopaths On Parade
“Be A Soul” The InnerView with Ram Dass
Leaving Home: The Touch of Stone, The Taste of Blood
Ecstatic Moments On the Tantric Path
The Healing of Multiple Sclerosis - Embracing Love and the Innate Inner Healer
What Democracy? (Part II)
Toxic Waste in the Public Well Revisited - A Foot-in-Mouth Tale
Dreams of Kindness, Love & Grace - Wealth Addiction
The Celtic Spiral - An Everyday Path to the Sacred
The Ecstasy of Transformational Creation
Thunder Rising: A Green Light for Hope of Global Proportions
The Healing of Multiple Sclerosis - Embracing Love and the Innate Inner Healer by Christine-Yazmin Albright
I believe disease is a call for our attention, a “knocking at the door”, so to speak. Disease asks us to look deeply within to find the answers, so we can heal our beings, our hearts, our soulsour life. It asks us to heal in a way that, perhaps, we would never have noticed until the illness demanded our attention.
In 1990, disease began pounding at my door, and I was forced to face my greatest fear, a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis. With my background as a professional ballet dancer, I couldn’t imagine dealing with a disease much worse, as my self image was strongly identified with my physical abilities. I was terrified about MS and its possible deterioration of physical abilities. I had prayed at night that I would not contract this disease.
I was completely devastated for a month as I went through the stages common to tragic news; denial, anger, sadness and finally acceptance. Doctors told me there was nothing they could do. No treatment was available beyond medication, a course I had once tried and vowed not to do again. Their assessment was that it could not be healed. I would just have to “wait and see how it goes”.
What? Wait and see if I became disabled? That, fortunately, was not a concept that I could or would grasp. So, what would I grasp? What would I do?
Gradually, I began to focus on a feeling, coming up from the depths of my being, telling me (contrary to my doctor’s belief) that it was, in fact, possible to heal this disease, and that I could do it. It didn’t feel true to me that the MS was inevitable; I knew it could be healed. I thought, “we can’t just be left as victims. We have to be able to heal these things”.
This awareness was not based on any scientific evidence. It was a deep knowing that just felt true. So, I reasoned, if in fact this could be healed, how would that happen? At this point, I hadn’t a clue.
First, I decided to try the traditional methods offered at my local MS Center in Coloradosupport groups, biofeedback and nutritional counseling to name a few. I had done quite a bit of research, especially on nutrition, beforehand and found that little new information (for me) was available at the Center. I remember standing in the circle of the support group, listening to the anguished stories of people with MS. I wanted so much to say “it doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to be in this pain, it is possible to heal this disease”. But how would I tell them to heal it? I too had MS and wasn’t able to heal my own illness.
Since looking for the answer outside of my self provided no solution, I began to sense that the answers were within. I could feel something drawing me in, calling me to travel deep inside and find the answer there. I searched my being, scanning for the connection to something greater than myself, something bigger than the MS. I explored ever deeper, waiting for that moment of inner certainty when you know you’ve hit the truth. At last it happenedI felt it, that jewel of the deep truth revealed itself. The ultimate answer was GOD! Of course, it was God.
I realized in that moment that God is bigger than the MS, bigger than my fears, and can heal this supposedly “incurable” disease. God can do anything. It was THE answer! In that moment, I completely surrendered the illness to God. I Let Go.
The complete surrender of the MS in every aspect to God was the first and most profound step in my healing process. I felt as though I placed the MS in my hands and handed it all over. “Here God I give this to you to do with as you will”. I then experienced a wave of relnøf, as though, in that moment, God picked it up and held it, and on some level inside myself, unknown and unknowable to me before, the illness was healed in an instant.
This is the God that goes by many names: Allah, God, Goddess, Buddha, Christ, Love, Universal Truth, The One. It is any belief higher than oneself, that brings us to our heart, our soul, our deepest truth, our essence. Essence is the place inside us where we meet God. It is the truest, most complete and loving part of who we are. It is our truth. When we connect and honor that truth within us, all things are possible. The result is an astounding miracle, the miracle of Healing Love.
What followed was four years journeying into the deepest realms of my being, connecting profoundly with God, my true essence and my inner healer. Ultimately, I was required to heal every aspect of my life to effect the complete healing of the MS in my body.
Stages of Healing
In the four years of healing that followed, I began to learn the beautiful, precise, articulate and correct language of love for my body and being.
As I began to profoundly love my body and the MS, the energy of the illness started to open and soften. It was like the lights came on. Whenever I felt that light, I knew I was healing. Gradually, I began to become conscious of an amazing truth. I realized that every symptom had a specific reason for its existence. It was not present just to annoy me or make me suffer, as we are taught to believe. Rather, each symptom contained within it an answer for how I was to heal. The pain and discomfort were asking me to stop and be quiet, very quiet and as I listened, I could hear the wisdom it needed me to know in order to heal.
I began to allow myself to step inside the symptom, with loveto fully feel, embrace and engage the symptom rather than cringe, or run in fear, or attempt to block, suppress or get rid of it. I would ask the symptom why it was there and, listening deeply, I would hear an answer in return. For instance, ‘it was that half pound of M&M’s you ate yesterday’. I then remembered that brief moment of rebellion. I would tell my body that I was sincerely sorry. Then I would ask what it needed from me to heal. It would give me a remedy, such as, three primrose oil capsules (to counteract the saturated fat, which is very bad for MS) and drink a lot of water to flush out the toxins. I would do what it asked of me and that symptom would disappear completely and forever. Each symptom I engaged in this way deepened the overall healing of the illness.
Eventually I learned that, for the MS to heal, I had to heal everything else in my life, including relationships, self-concepts, old woundseverything. When I did something that was not in harmony with the healing, my body would let me know quickly and intensely with a new frightening symptom that would put me down in bed for three days, every time! Believe me, I learned quickly not to disregard my body. It meant business and wanted to heal. It would not put up with my silly or rebellious games and would let me know when I strayed from the healing path. This is why we are not victims of our body. It wants to heal too.
We have an incredible communication system built into our being. This system tells us exactly what it needs to heal. Our body know how to heal itself. It is the body’s natural state to be healthy and it knows how to reach that end.
This process took me to some very wounded areas. This, I discovered, is why I originally contracted the MS. I needed to heal my abusive past and bring in the love that my being so desperately needed. Not just human love but also the deep healing of God’s love.
During the years of my healing process I developed a strong and intimate relationship with my body and the illness. They became my best friends. I wanted only to support and love them, to listen and attend to their needs. It was almost like taking care of a needing baby or child. You have to surrender to what is being asked of you, with love, and you receive great rewards in return.
In these years, I learned that fear is an illusion! Fear is a familiar presence for those facing a debilitating disease. It sure was to me. One day I was so tired of trying to outrun the fear that I finally turned around in anger and stared it down. I was amazed to learn that, behind the fear was the truth of the situationand that the truth was always the exact opposite of the fear. But I had to face the fear first to get to the truth. I began to look forward to facing the fear so I could see what the truth might be. Truth was always so much kinder than the fear!
At the time of my diagnosis, I was immensely out of balance and alignment. My four-year healing process walked me, step by step, back to my natural balance. I knew the day, the moment, that I hit my balance. I felt it. All the cogs slipped into alignment with each other. Whoop! I hit balance! The healing was complete!
More importantly, I discovered a deeper reason to exist in the world. It is to give back. I realized that God gave me this incredible gift of healing and I am now to share it with others who struggle with MS. All the information out there says you can’t heal the disease, it is incurable, there are only drugs to take to treat it. But I can say with certainty that there are other possibilities for its healing! I am now the person I was searching for when I was first diagnosed. I remember thinking then, “if I can find one person who has healed themselves of MS, then I can too”.
The process of connecting with and embracing your inner healer is an exquisite experience. It does however require a sincere and strong commitment to the healing process. When that commitment is made, it is possible to heal multiple sclerosis, or stop its progression, or at least to feel a whole lot better. I am living proof of it. I believe that the information essential for healing lives within us all. I am convinced that this is true for MS or any disease, injury or disorder. It is about surrendering completely, to God, to the deep love, to the innate inner healer within, and then listening deeply and trusting what you hear. Illness can be our most profound teacher.
What a simple, profound, loving and amazing process, where all of the answers are intact, inside and available through the very thing that is the issue. I found that the answer to healing the MS is IN the MS! And that my greatest fear became my greatest gift.
ChristineYazmin Albright has been symptom free for the past eight years and considers herself completely healed from Multiple Sclerosis. Using her own experience with her illness combined with her three-year formal education from the Jaffe Institute of Spiritual and Medical Healing, she now has a practice in Portland, Oregon, and has started the Multiple Sclerosis Alternative Healing & Care Center, working with people with Multiple Sclerosis and other diseases. Christine can be reached at: 503/695-2907, firstname.lastname@example.org, www. healing-ms.com
Site updated Spring 2010