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 Tongue
in Cheek - About Obsessive/Compulsive Behaviors and Other Oral Traditions
By
Kalab Honey
Since
I was a young boy, I’ve always had some sort of oral fixation.
By the time I was eight I’d started biting my fingernails
big time. My Grandmother used to put the most repulsive tasting
serums on my nails hoping to break me of my bad habit. I got so
used to the taste I even started enjoying it. Twisted.
In
my early teens I started smoking. I don’t know exactly why
I liked smoking—for sure it wasn’t the wonderful way
it made me feel, or the nice smell. But I liked it. Later on,
as I accumulated more consciousness, I realized it satisfied this
oral tradition of mine. Only problem was, when I wasn’t smoking,
I was back to the default setting, biting my nails again. At last,
deeply immersed in a personal world of cigarette smoke and stains,
frayed cuticles and stubby fingers, I decided to go all the way
and get my tongue pierced . . . sort of a built-in passive 24/7
oral fix.
Then
the awesome happened. I was able to quit smoking. By that time
my body was so completely addicted to the nicotine that I was
beyond any reasonable expectation of “hope”. But the
constant presence of the tongue-stud in my mouth was an unexpected
ally in competing with the addiction—not to mention it’s
a great conversation opener at parties.
I’d
like to credit my quitting smoking to the tongue-stud 100% but
it was more of a means to an end than the main solution.
I’m
22 now and I’ve had the tongue-stud for two-plus years. My
piercing has proved to be a great companion in times of off-center
excess, whether boredom or distress. I still bite my nails, but
only under siege. Meanwhile, fidgeting with my tongue instead
of smoking is a norm I’ve quite grown accustomed to.
For
myself (and I would guess for others) the tongue piercing has
proved the lesser of evils. When (if) I choose to take my tongue-stud
out I hope I will have matured enough, in the way of channeling
stress, that I won’t go back to the heavy smoking or nerve-wracked
nail nibbling.
But
you never know. Oral fixations are an ever-present annoyance and
each of us has to find our own way through. You can tackle it
head on (the “just say no” approach), but if you find
this frontal assault method too much resembles Pickett’s
Charge at Gettysburg, there are other, less painful, more stylin’
ways. I’ve found that “lesser evilism” applies
to more than political choices for president.
I
am writing this little essay literally tongue in cheek, but think
about this. I’ve found that when it comes to addictions,
the least conventional cure is often the most effective. I’m
talking addictions here. And society will be a better place to
live when the obsessive-compulsive lawmakers in DC heal their
addiction to power-over-others and get this simple concept. So
I’ll repeat it, in case they weren’t paying attention:
sometimes the least conventional cure is the most effective. They
might even be able to declare Peace in the War on Drugs. That
would be a load off.
Bottom
line, if you can’t beat an addiction outright, turn your
weakness into a strength. Make it work for you. Seek out the lesser
evil. Be cool, it’s only life & its habits.
Kalab
Honey is a student majoring in Business Administration at
the University of Oregon in Eugene, Oregon after which he plans
to go on to the study of International Law.
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